Big Time Sickfic - Dear Camille
by RomioneAlways51
Summary: RE-UPLOADED! Logan was so good at writing, but when his class is asked to write to Camille in the hospital, will Logan find the right words to say? Will he have his girlfriend back by his side? Terrible review, sorry. Inspired by A Rose With Many Thorns' 'Memories of Jade' and Miss Fenway's 'Little Hollow' Lomille and BTR friendship. K just in case. Please give it a go, and review
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi guys, so with this story, I've decided to start again, and do it in a different format, because it just wasn't working for me. It's still the same storyline and everything, I've just decided to re-write it, hopefully that's OK? I wouldn't normally do this, but I had such big plans for this story, and it was getting nowhere and was frustrating me, so I killed it :) anyway, I hope you guys enjoy the new Dear Camille just as much as you did the old one.**

**Chapter 1:**

Dear Camille,

So, this is real, huh? I guess it was real that day your dad came into the Palm Woods' school with the message that you were sick, but I just couldn't believe that it was real, that you have cancer, that my girlfriend was, and still is, suffering from a disease that could possibly take her life; this isn't real to me, Camille, this is a nightmare, this is my living hell.

I should probably explain to you what the point of all this is; yesterday, a few days after your dad came, Ms Collins decided that we were all too down to work, and so she told us that the best way to deal with all if this would be to write you letters, and if we wanted, she could take them into the hospital for us so you can read them. I'm not so sure if I want you to read my letters, I don't even know what I'm writing to you; it's like my brain has been in slow motion ever since I found out how sick you are, and it's like I can't concentrate anymore.

I can't write any more right now, Camille, it hurts. I'll do my best to write again tomorrow, I think I just need to sleep this off.

You're always in my prayers, know that I'm wishing with all my heart for you to get better.

Love, always,

Logan

**A/N: I hope this is OK guys, I'm going to write the whole story pretty much in Logan's letters, because then I can really get into what he's thinking. The storyline's basically the same though, but u just thought this would be an interesting change, since I've never written like this before :)**

**Reviews would be amazing xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry it's been a while since I updated (and sorry I'm not updating Big Time Problem), but I've BEEN WORKING ON MY LOMILLE SEQUEL TO LITTLE FAMILY! Yay! I'm so excited, because I finally got past this dumb roadblock of a chapter, so hopefully once I finish a few of my stories that'll be up. One quick question out this story though, do you guys like it with just Logan's letters, or would you like it if I added some of the other guys' letters to Camille as well? I can do either, so it's your call!**

**Chapter 2:**

Dear Camille,

It feels like it's been forever since I last wrote to you, Ms Collins keeps allowing us time every day in class to write, but I can never seem to know what to say when I'm in class. It's only now, at 3.30 in the morning, that the words come easily. James says I'm an insomniac, but I don't think I am, I just find it easier to write at night, when it's pitch black dark and totally silent, I can concentrate. Trouble is, Camille, I don't want to concentrate, I don't want to think about what I'm doing, I don't want to think about the fact that I'm writing to my girlfriend, who's sitting all alone in a hospital room where they pump all kinds of drugs into her to fight this dumb cancer, but the guys say it's good for me to let it all out, even if I don't say it to anyone, like some kind of therapy or something. I have to admit, it does make me feel better letting it out, but writing letters isn't going to bring you back to health again, is it?

I've been doing some research on your condition too, Kendall says I shouldn't, and you're probably going to say the same, but you know me Camille, you know that I have to know. It hurt though; it hurt reading about what you're going through, what you're going to go through, it makes me sick just thinking about it. Kendall caught me crying into my medical book last night, and he stayed with me until I finally fell asleep, but I couldn't help it, I just feel so useless! I'm supposed to be your boyfriend, the one who makes you smile when you're feeling sad, the one who's supposed to make you feel amazing every single day, but I can't do that this time, and it's killing me to know that I can't help you. If I could take all your sickness and suffer it myself, I would do it in a heartbeat, but I can't, and I'm just going to have to accept the fact that all I can do is stand by your bedside and hold your hand throughout all of this, because god knows its going to be tough, but I'm never going to leave you, Camille, you can count on that. I love you so, so much, and I promise that I'm going to be here for you through this whole mess, and I'll be cheering for you when you finally beat this thing.

Good night, Camille, I'll be praying for you,

Love, always,

Logan

**A/N: I hope this is OK, guys, and I'm working on the next chapter of Big Time Problem, so hopefully that'll be up soon :)**

**Reviews would be amazing :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Good morning guys, I have another chapter for you guys, but it's a bit short I'm afraid :/ oh also thank you to the person who reviewed just before I updated this about Logan being in character, I didn't think I was gonna get any reviews on the last chapter, so thanks! And thank you for saying Logan's in character, I personally think he's a bit out, but I'm so critical of myself so it's nice to hear that my work is good from you guys!**

**Chapter 3:**

Dear Camille,

Mrs Knight signed the guys and I up for a cancer support group, apparently it's to help release all my feelings, but I don't have any! I know it's not humanly possible not to feel anything, but I just feel empty; I know I'm grieving, but that's all I can come up with, it's like I've got nothing in my heart anymore, Camille, and that scares me. Not many things scare me, but feeling like I'm empty inside is downright terrifying!

Katie, Mrs Knight and the guys always tread wearily around me these days, I think they're afraid I'm going to explode from all this pent up emotion that I don't have. They're always watching me, they don't think I know, but I can tell. They're studying me, trying to find out if I need their help or not; I don't, talking about it just hurts, that's why I don't think this support group is a good idea, I mean who wants to listen to some whiny stranger complain about things that they've already been through? Mrs Knight thinks its going to help, but I just can't believe her, it's not like I don't trust her judgement or anything, it's just that I don't think I can he helped, I'm too broken.

It's so quiet in the crib, the guys are too worried to talk to me in case they hit a nerve, but the worst part is that I like it; I like being alone. I just sit in my room writing letters to you, and Mrs Knight is the only one who bothers me to bring me meals in my room. Big Time Rush is kinda on hiatus for now, Gustavo and Griffin were surprisingly cool about just stopping the band for a bit, which is great because I don't think I could sing if I tried.

Please, Camille, you've gotta fight this, I can't stand the thought of you locked up in that hospital room all on your own, suffering like you are, and I can't stand feeling this way, I feel like I'm empty, and I feel useless too. God, if I could do something to help you, I'd do it, anything to end this hell!

Love, always,

Logan

**A/N: As I said, kinda short, I'm sorry about that :/**


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